Hi hi! Thanks for visiting my birthday feedback page 😊
You likely found this page through an email, a shared community member, a DM, or my social media. So you probably already know how vulnerable this is for me! Please be tender in your reading & sharing 🩷
If this page isn’t working for you or if you have any follow up wonderings, please feel free to contact me in the ways we normally communicate.
This month I’m turning 30! To be blunt, I never really thought I’d live this long. In retrospect, each decade of my life had its own ubiquitous theme that compounded over time to reaffirm this throughline. In childhood, it was having unmet basic needs (hello poverty + developmental trauma); in adolescence, my best friend killing himself (intensifying my own mental health + suicidal ideation); and in my 20s, managing disability and multimorbidity (most recent additions including cancer + long covid). With all that said, I am quite aware of death’s inevitability and kind of always have been. Up until now, I have let this knowing stop me from embracing the excitement that I believe being alive deserves. I would love to leave that proclivity behind and bring practices of embodying deep joy into my 30s!
I see my ability to do this as being hinged upon understanding what it is that drives me at my core. Many of my therapeutic endeavors this year have revolved around that pursuit and have in turn, supported me to recognize my propensity towards community, transformation, and deep (often arduous) understanding. Unfortunately, for much of my life, I received messaging that these were things that I needed to change or suppress (surprise, that never works). And I believe that this too, has added to my struggle with the felt sense of joy. So, for this transitory birthday, I am choosing to do the opposite and finally lean into these parts of myself instead. I’d be remiss if I did not name my feeling abashed in my doing so. However, I am willing to accept this as a necessary part of the skill acquisition needed to achieve this goal and just do it anyway. 😮💨
If you have read this far, thank you! You have already helped me in practicing being audacious and making clear, explicit asks when I have them (rather than not asking them and feeling disappointed when they remain unmet). If you are willing to read a little further still and provide the feedback I requested in my original message to you – I will use it to help me practice sitting with and internalizing the affirmations (rather than brushing them off or presuming deceit) to make more accurate assessments about myself, my work, and the impact I have on folks in my community (rather than basing those assessments on assumptions). All three of these processes are intentionally uncomfortable (like, profoundly); so much so that its worth noting again that I am not only aware of this being a part of the process, but I also know that I am quite literally choosing to do it. Despite this, I request for a second time anyway: please be tender with your offerings. 💌
If you need more guidance: Any and all forms of affirming and loving feedback are welcome whether or not they are included in this section. These are by no means required topics nor is the expectation that you cover all of them. In fact, some of these examples below may not be applicable depending on our relationship. It is simply here to be helpful if you feel lost!
Written text, artwork, voice notes, and any other types of attachments are all welcome 🥰
What is something you see/feel/know about me that you would like to affirm?
What is something you have experienced with me or because of me that you would like to affirm?
What is something you have witnessed me do/learn/overcome that you would like to affirm?
Especially for client community members: what are 1-3 things you’ve found the most helpful/affirming in our work together? A takeaway, a practice, an experience?
A song, a quote, a video, a book, a poem, etc., that reminds you of me or you would like to share with me
Wishes you have for me as I enter my 30s or in general
Any other love you want to share :)
Thank you again for taking the time to read this and considering my invitation to gift me something for my birthday that helps me feel loved, provides an opportunity to practice new skills, and supports me in taking the first tangible step towards being who I want to be in this next decade. As one of my therapist’s Ji-Youn (who also, so graciously gave me permission to base this entire process off of their own birthday request, check out their writings here and here she is seriously so cool) so aptly states: I am who I am because of my people.
You folks are my people and I’m so grateful to know you!
With love,
Rebecca~ 🩵